Hillary v. The Joke About Her Emails

The Country is currently in the second week of the two week dumpster fire that is political convention season. It was the intent of this blog to write a single piece for each convention. Naturally, the ghost of Apocryphal Harold MacMillan appeared and “events, dear boy, events” changed those plans. For the Republican Convention, it was Ted Cruz’s Conscience Speech that formed the basis of a separate post beyond the one explaining why Republicans should not vote for Trump.

And what was the even from the Democratic Convention that caused this post to spring forth? It couldn’t be Bernie Sanders telling his supporters to vote their conscience since he told them Monday night that the revolution to overturn the Wall Street Oligarchy had been bought out by Goldman Sach’s favorite motivational speaker. No, the person who has made the biggest impact during the DNC has been… Donald Trump.

That’s right, the Tangerine-American’s comedic “skillz” made a bigger splash than the Wikileaks revelations of the Party rigging the primary (badly it turns out) for Hillary Clinton (complete with anti-semitic and/or atheistic snobbery at the bitter clingers)  or the DNC’s view of Hispanic/Latino Voters as “taco bowls”. Donald Trump told a joke:

“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing,” Trump told reporters at a news conference near Miami. “I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.”

It is a bad joke. A bad joke badly delivered.  It was the type of bad joke that causes people to say, “Don’t quit your day job.” (Though for the reasons I’ve previously outline, I don’t think it would be bad if Trump quit his day job of running for President). It is a bad joke suffering from poor timing, an unwieldy set-up, and a weak punch line. It’s the sort of lame joke that, in days of yore, would have simply caused people to roll their eyes. But instead of signalling Sandman Sims, folks started virtue signalling their horror at Trump. See it couldn’t simply be  Donald Trump fell flat telling a bad joke. Not, it had to be more. It had to be Yuuuggge! It was treason! How dare he tell the Russians to hack Hillary’s emails! Harrumph harrumph

Let’s begin by pointing out the obvious: Trump is not inviting the Russian’s to hack Hillary emails. The “joke” was referencing a past event, i.e. Clinton’s most recent scandal which involved her stint as Secretary of State where she used a personal email account residing on a private, unsecured server in contravention of of US laws and State Department rules. And in another apparent violation of US law, Mrs. Clinton, upon concluding her time at the State Department, did not turn over her emails to the National Archive, but deleted many of them. Over 30,000 emails are believed to have been deleted.

Although 1) it was illegal for her to use a private email account (especially one sitting on an unsecured server) and 2) it was illegal for her to delete her emails, Mrs. Clinton and her political surrogates repeatedly assured the American Public this was no big thing because the deleted emails were purely personal and private, discussing nothing more than Chelsea Clinton’s wedding and yoga pants. Based on Mrs. Clinton’s representations, that is what could have been hacked if the Russians had decided to try to get into Hillary Clinton’s email accounts on her unsecured server.

Of course why would Russia hack the US Secretary of State’s email account on an unsecured server? After all, Obama and Clinton have repeatedly told us Russia is not our Geopolitical enemy. Remember the Reset Button? Remember the amazing burn Obama gave to Romney about the 1980s wanting its foreign policy back? So Russia clearly has no reason to want to hack the Secretary of State’s email account sitting on an unsecured server.

So, even if the Russians, for some strange reason, did hack Mrs. Clinton’s email account on the unsecured server, there is nothing important in the emails because a) Hillary said the ones deleted were solely related to Chelsea’s wedding and/or yoga pants; b) even if there were emails not wedding or yoga related, she and the Democrats have assured the American Public there was nothing classified in those emails; c) even if there was something classified, it was simply a result of overzealousness in the classifying process by the US government; and d) The FBI found no criminal wrongdoing on her part which there would have been if she had sent or received classified national security information via her unsecured web server.

Based on Mrs. Clinton and the DNC’s repeated assurances that everything is awesome, all is well and there is no need to panic over the 30,000 deleted emails that were never probably not maybe hacked from her unsecured server. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Which makes the reaction from the Clinton campaign, the DNC and their press lackeys so odd. Why expend so much time, effort and energy rebutting a bad joke? In order to discuss the bad joke, the media has to explain the underlying premise of Trump’s joke and why it is treasonous to call for the release of 30,000 emails supposedly deleted which concern only yoga pants and wedding planning. Such obsession on such trivial matters is bound to make the everyday American to wonder if the press corps has lost its collective mind in so breathlessly reporting and opinionating about a bad joke concerning something it has repeatedly described as a non-story.  

How does the media not understand that by hyping a bad joke about a nothing story, they are playing directly into Trump’s small hands? Did none of them read Mollie Hemingway’s piece about The Four Ways Donald Trump Is Living Rent-Free In The DNC’s Head? The media, by going overboard and full Journo-list, has not only allowed Trump to live rent free, but allowed him to build houses and hotels in there as well.

Donald Trump’s campaign is predicated on a simple proposition: Only he can stop the cabal of Democrats, Media and other special interests who are plotting to take away our precious bodily fluids. Trump has told us he alone can stop immigrants from taking jobs from the working class man. Only Donald Trump can make America Great again.

By going overboard and breathlessly reporting on Trump’s joke as if it was Smedley Butler’s opening gambit of the Business Plot, the media’s (over)reaction will raise questions as why the press is so afraid of a Donald Trump joke. And since 75% of Americans believe the press is biased, it would be entirely reasonable for the American people to conclude the media’s reaction to a bad joke over a non-story reflects the press’s fear that Trump will upend their cozy position as the lapdogs of the “special interests” and end the rigged system that is oppressing the working man. And if that happens, people may start seeing media stories about how Trump and his Administration would be dangerous as nothing but hyperbole. Indeed, such perceived media bias may also drive people towards Trump. After all, if a biased media is making up stories about Trump, then it must be because he is “speaking truth to power”.  And as such, a vote for Trump is a vote against the biased press and for the restoration of American glory.

And that is how Trump wins the White House.

All because the media and the DNC failed to heed the lessons of the Brexit Campaign and made much ado about nothing.

….Of course…

What if, hypothetically speaking, those 30,000 deleted emails aren’t just wedding and yoga related?

What if, again hypothetically speaking, those 30,000 emails contained material properly classified which was improperly stored on an unsecured server?

What if those 30,000 emails stored on an unsecured server contained classified material which directly affected US National Security?

What if those 30,000 emails stored on an unsecured server containing classified material directly affecting US National Security was hacked before they could be deleted?

What if those 30,000 emails stored on an unsecured server containing classified material directly affecting US National Security which were hacked before they could be deleted got into the hands of a geopolitical foe?

In such a scenario, wouldn’t that justify the levels of hysteria by the Clinton Campaign and the DNC? After all, such a breach of National Security would have a devastating impact on the safety of America and her interests here and abroad.

But in order for that scenario to be believable it it would require accepting as fact Hillary Clinton has been knowingly lying to the American people about her email account on an unsecured server.

And if Hillary Clinton was so brazenly lying to the American public, that would call into question her qualifications to be President. After all, it would be pretty hard to claim Clinton is the most qualified person ever to be President if it turns out she has knowingly engaged in conduct that routinely jeopardized national security.

Such conduct would probably make someone unfit for the Presidency.

Which is absurd.

No one would be that stupid.



One thought on “Hillary v. The Joke About Her Emails

  1. Pingback: Show Us Your Work – Fermenting Politics

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